Do You Know Your Core Desires?
A VP of a large insurance company once came to me and asked for my help.
He was earning more than enough money, but he wasn’t happy in his job. He had been at it for 22 years and had just grown tired of it.
When I asked him what he would like to do instead, he replied, without emotion, “I’ve been looking at real estate and investments because I know people who have succeeded in those areas.”
He had chosen those professions because he had seen others do well in them.
I told him then, “You might want to consider another option. There’s no emotion at all in your voice. Your head is what’s talking here, not your heart, and these options don’t reflect your Core Desires.”
“Well, then,” he said, “I guess I just don’t know what I really want to do.”
So I asked him, “What gets you all jazzed up and excited?”
Suddenly his face lit up as he told me, “My heart starts to pound when I think about doing this one thing because it’s so exciting to me.” But before he even told me what this one thing was, he added, “But I don’t see how I can continue to make a good living by doing it.”
I said, “Scratch that last sentence. Just tell me what it is.”
So he told me, “I love to speak in front of people. I’ve been to Toastmasters and taken Dale Carnegie courses. I’d really love to be a public speaker and help people in their lives.
“That’s what I’d really love to do, but I don’t see how I could make it work and stay financially secure.”
His mind had tried to sabotage his Core Desire, but it was easy to discover what his heart wanted most. I asked, “Do you know anybody who’s making a living as a speaker?”
He said, “No.”
So I told him, “I do, and I will be glad to share with you how to do it. Believe me, it has been done, and you can do it, too.”
How will you know when you’ve discovered your own Core Desire?
You will know when you arrive at the core because you will invariably have some kind of emotional reaction.
Your Core Desires always center around how you want to feel about yourself – either as a result of being a certain kind of person, having a particular item, or accomplishing a particular thing.
When you identify a Core Desire, you may feel great joy. You may even start to cry, because the long hidden need or want has gone unfulfilled for so many years.
You may get sweaty hands, or your heart may pound with excitement.
Sometimes discovering a Core Desire is accompanied by just a calm, peaceful sigh of understanding or a simple, clear, doubt-free, quiet nodding of the head.
No matter how you react to discovering your Core Desires, you’ll know it when it happens. Fathoming a Core Desire takes:
Identifying your genuine heartfelt Core Desires requires that you get to know yourself at levels you might not have gone to before.
What is way down there can be a real eye-opener. It may be humbling, embarrassing, or may open old wounds. However, it is valuable because it is the truth, and the truth is what will set you on the right path.
Don’t let your inability to see how you are going to achieve your true desire keep you from acknowledging what they really are. Make your desire a reality.
Here’s another idea. If you are having difficulty discovering the desires inside yourself, just guess. You’ll be surprised at how accurate a guess can be. Guessing can open doors in your heart that have been closed for a long time.
One woman I know was stuck and just couldn’t move forward. I asked her to guess what she desired most. She looked up at the ceiling and said, “Well, maybe it could be that I was closer to my son.” Then she started to cry.
That was her Core Desire.