Seven Words to Change Your Life: What if You Want Your Life To Change . . . But You Don’t Want to Change?
Five hours after Ryan picked his truck up from the mechanic, it stalled in rush hour traffic on the expressway. He called a tow truck and then his wife. “I’ve had it!” he fumed. “This is the third time I’ve been stranded right after I’ve paid a bundle to get the truck fixed. I’m going to give Jules a piece of mind this time!”
“Why don’t you go to my brother’s mechanic?” his wife answered reasonably. “He’s had nothing to say but good things about him.”
Ryan huffed. “I’m not going through all that.”
“All . . . that? What do you mean?”
“I mean, I’ve always gone to Jules, and I’m not going through the hassle of changing. He’s just going to do the job right this time. Are you coming to pick me up, or what?”
Change – it happens all the time. But we don’t like it. It’s uncomfortable and scary and a lot of work. But if you’re stuck in an unhappy place – unhappy in your home, marriage, job, or even yourself – you need to change. Yourself. Not them. Not it. But you.
Expect to feel some resistance when you start. You might catch yourself procrastinating, justifying your failure to change, or pointing your finger outward – “If she’d just change how she acts, I’d change how I talk to her!” There are a lot of reasons to resist change:
- No matter how unhappy you may be with your present circumstances, they are familiar and comfortable. Change means leaving your comfort zone.
- You will probably experience fear of some kind – of failure, of not meeting other’s expectations, even of success.
- Habit is your autopilot, and anytime you aren’t actively piloting your behavior, you’ll default back to habit. To change your life you have to force yourself to stay conscious of your actions until the new habits are well and truly ingrained. And even then, you’ll have to stay vigilant to avoid backsliding.
- You may secretly (or not-so-secretly) have the underlying beliefs that you can’t really change your life for the better. In that case, why go through the discomfort of trying? You have to challenge that belief, as often and as forcefully as necessary.
Even if you don’t invite change into your life, it is going to come. The only thing that doesn’t change is the truth . . . and one of those truths is that everything else changes. Take control of the direction of the changes in your life by confronting your resistance and resolving it once and for all.